10 Weeks

Dear Abby,

Today you are 10 weeks old. 10 of the best weeks of our lives.

I think I can successfully say that you and I are starting to know each other. I'll admit, there was quite the transition stage, but we are understanding one another. You've started to take regular naps, and truth be told, I usually take one with you. It's usually what we both need.

You smile more often now. And you seem on the verge of giggling a lot. It warms my heart through and through. You even stop eating now and again to look up at me and give me a special grin.

A couple of weeks ago I took you to you doctor appointment to get your two month shots. You screamed. And I don't think it would have been so bad had you not looked at me with the saddest eyes right before the scream came. It. Broke. My. Heart.

You are finally starting to get some rolls on your legs, and developing quite the cute pot belly. I basically kiss you cheeks all day long. I can't get enough.

Dad and I still freak out over every thing you do. We call one another over to look at you with every new look or movement you do.

I can't believe how much you're changing! I don't know why nobody told me not to blink.

I love you, baby girl.

Your Mommy

Blessing Day

My Sweet Abby,

Sunday was your blessing day. I wanted to share a few of my thoughts with you, while they were still fresh in my mind.
That day will always be so special to me. I'll never forget the special spirit of the day, even as it started out. We spent the night at Grandma Smith's house, since the blessing was in Grace (it was the same day as Uncle Chase's farewell). While mom and dad were preparing some last minute preparations, you snuggled with Grandma and she rocked you to sleep.

As we dressed you, I almost got a little teary. You wore my blessing dress. You were so perfect all dressed in white. You snuggled up to me immediately - tired after a long morning. You slept through the meeting, while dad and I admired you. Aunt Traci even brought Makenna's old blessing shoes (since Mom didn't have time to find anyway from our insanely busy week).

I couldn't believe I was carrying my baby girl to receive her name and a special blessing. I reminded again of how you have enriched our lives, made us complete, you have made us a family.

As soon as the member of the bishopric announced your blessing, I got teary. Dad took you from my arms, and I lost it. The situation wasn't helped as I watched worthy men, who mean the world to our family, gather in a circle and support you up.

Dad gave you the most beautiful blessing. You are so lucky to have a dad worthy to hold the priesthood (which I know is God's power here on Earth) and be able to give you blessings like this. He made you promises of the future, of good health, and blessed you to find a worthy companion to make covenants with in the temple for eternity. He reassured you that you have been born to a family that loves you.

This blessing came straight from your Heavenly Father, Abby. He loves you. We love you. We are so lucky to have you in our lives.

I feel so inadequate to mother such a special girl. You have such a strong spirit. You are sweet. You are so loving. Your Heavenly Father has big plans for such an amazing spirit. I pray for His guidance to be able to be your mom.

I hope you know you are loved.I wish I could tell you just how much.

We love you, our precious girl.

Mommy

First Trip

Dear Abby,

Six weeks, baby! I can hardly believe it! Your legs are even starting to get some rolls! It's adorable. You've started to follow us with your eyes everywhere we go in the room (especially if you're hungry). Today you wore under armour that Daddy bought you before you were born. It may have been a little big, but it sure was cute! Everything is cute on you though.

Tomorrow we take our first big family trip. We are going to southern Utah for both the Ackerman family reunion as well as the Harrison family reunion (over the 4th in Richfield, of course). We'll be gone for an entire week and mom is going to have a heart attack, I think. If I didn't care so much if you had relationships with these people, I think we would have bailed. Hopefully it all goes smooth. Then, when we get back, we'll be here for only one day before turning around and going back to Utah for Aunt Sam and Uncle Mike's sealing (Lexi and Javid too). We're super excited, but it's just a lot to do! Then your blessing's the next day.

Daddy is working so hard to find a job and get all of his projects and school work done so he can graduate on the 20th. It's going to be so crazy, good thing we have you to put it all in perspective!

Oh, and Dad claims you smiled at him the other day. I must admit, I'm pretty jealous.

You're snoozing away right now, I'm hoping this doesn't mean you are going to be up all night!

I love you, my sweet baby girl.

Mommy

Changing

Dear Abby,

You're growing and changing so much, so often. Dad and I comment on it at least ten times every day. You turn your head toward our voices when we talk. If your binky falls out of your mouth and you can feel it touching your face you open your mouth in attempt to get it back in.

You adore riding in the car or stroller; but you are consistently the most content baby. You spoil us constantly. The time we spend together as a family is so much more fun and fulfilling with you in our lives. I think you're going to start smiling soon (besides the typical newborn smiles). You are getting more and more expressive everyday.

Did I mention you calm down (the few times you are fussy) when I hold you? It warms me through and through.

I adore being your mom.

xoxo,

Mommy

A Father's Love

Dear Abby, 

Yesterday was Father's Day. I wish I could tell you how much your daddy loves you. But it is beyond words. Pictures speak a thousand times better than words. 

Abby, he loves you. did you know he is usually the one who bathes you? He changes your diaper the majority of the time when he is home. He gets up with you in the night. He asks to hold you. He cuddles you. He runs right to you when he gets home. 

He stares at you for hours, just taking you in.

All day long I hear how much he loves you. Because he tells me. 

And you. 

Don't ever forget it. And try not to take it for granted. 

You deserve the best daddy. And you got him. 

We both love you, 

your lucky mommy 

Month In Review

Dear Abby, 

These are some pictures we have captured of our lives with you over the last month. 

I figure you're the only one (besides Dad and I) that will truly appreciate the picture overload. 

The pictures speak for themselves. I hear they're worth a thousand words. 

You're beautiful. 

And you've made our lives beautiful, baby girl. 

Loving every minute, 

Mommy

Almost One Month

Dear Precious Abby,

In three hours you are one month old. And I want you to know it's been the best month of my life.  Your dad's life too. Here's to countless more months.

We love you.

Mom and Dad

Little Moments

Dear Abby,

My wish for you today is a wish for both me and you. And your dad too. I wish that we will never forget the little moments. I wish that the little moments will carry on forever. I dream of these little moments lasting forever.

I know that the little moments will change. I know that you won't always lay on our chest and go to sleep. But, I pray that we will forever recognize little moments, in whatever form they will come, as that of which they really are: precious. 

We love you, precious baby. 

Mom 

Good Day

Dear Abby,

Today was a good day. You are such a sweet baby. We took you to church for the first time today, just to Sunday School since we teach the youth class in our ward. You were great and slept the whole time; besides, you looked extra gorgeous in your pink dress.

Grandma and Grandpa Ackerman came for a visit this afternoon, and you finally met Uncle Chase. It is kind of sad to me that you Chase is leaving so soon on his mission for two years and you'll be over two years old when he gets back! We love Uncle Chase! We'll tell you lots of stories about him so hopefully you'll know him when you see him again.

Every time Daddy looks at you he comments on how perfect you are. I just thought you should know that. We think you're perfect.

I'm going to bed for a bit before you wake up and you and I get our middle-of-the-night-bonding.

Love you, baby girl.

Mom

Two Weeks, Baby!

Dear Abby,

Happy two weeks! We celebrated today with Daddy having a "light day" (as light as you get in your last semester and working) and coming home to spend the day with us. Sadly, our activities for the day have consisted of taking you to the doctor for your two week appointment, and cuddling you since you seem to have a cold. There is nothing that has broken my heart more than seeing you sick. Oh, and we did spice up the day with you blowing out your diaper. Luckily, you seem to be liking baths a little more now. Dad was even able to give it himself and you didn't thrash or anything. We've found that if we turn on the heater in the bathroom, and have your towel warm for when you get out, you do so much better. Not that I blame you, I wish Dad would put my towel in the drier to be nice and toasty warm when I get out of the shower!

We can't believe two weeks have already passed. It's been the best two weeks of our lives, hands down. Even sick, you hardly cry.

I read some advice today about the first few weeks with a new baby. The top piece of advice read, "Let your house go to shambles." Done and done. That house is in shambles, there is a pile of laundry at the bottom of the bed the size of Mt. Rushmore and it is rare that dishes are caught up. But, you know what Abs? I haven't missed a moment with you.

I hope you know you are loved.

Looking forward to many more weeks!

Love--Mommy

PS: Two week stats were 7lbs. 5.5oz; 20 in; head circumference 36cm.

First Weekend Away

Dear Abby,

This weekend we trekked down to Preston - your first visit to the best place on Earth. I hope you enjoyed it. I was highly anxious, even as I anticipated taking you out of our little apartment. I know it's been - what?- eleven days now? But, still, you're so fragile and dependent. Call me crazy, I just want the best for you.

We had multiple reasons we really wanted to go this weekend. One being that Uncle Joe, Aunt Traci and the kids would be there. It's a must that you meet them. I'm sure they'll play a major role in your life. You hadn't met Morgan yet, also a must (and she just graduated from high school on Thursday - which we were super sad to miss!). Meeting Grammy Abby, obviously a need, as well as Julie. Both of these women will be huge influences in your life, you'll love them like family, I'm sure. And, last but not least, Grandma Harrison was still in town from Morg's graduation (and a bonus, it was her 70th birthday).

You did so good in the car. You were awake for a good portion of the drive, but just quietly hung out in the car seat, playing with your hands. You love to do that. And to scratch your face, always enjoyable. We didn't realize how much more we would have to pack for the little 6 lb addition you are to the Honda. We struggled - and we were only gone over night.

You were spoiled endlessly. As we were leaving Preston the next evening the kids were already asking when they would see you again (they've forgotten Dad and I already). It was a fun stay and you got passed from person to person constantly. The only time I really saw you was to feed you. You are so loved. People say you look like me. I take it as a compliment - you are gorgeous. I don't know how you should feel though...

The only downside was that that was the one night you've been difficult. Dad and I sat up with you all night long. It was a long night, but all it takes to bring us back to reality is a glance at your beautiful face and we feel we can do more nights like that (don't take us up on it though, we prefer the good nights - as adorable as you are).

It was so fun to watch you with everyone. Seeing everyone appreciate you in their own way is priceless. Like I said, you are so loved.

We came back on Saturday, stopping in Grace for you to meet Grandma Smith and a stop at Grandma and Grandpa Ackerman's to see Lexi and Javid and feed you. You were fussy when we went to Grandma Smith's and she rocked you right to sleep. She loves to rock babies.

We got home and have hung out today (Sunday). We have had kind of a lazy day, the three of us hanging out in our bed all day, watching Friends and enjoying every moment with you. It is probably only five minutes that passes (at the most) before Dad or I says, "Look at her!" or "She's so cute, come see what she's doing!" It's as simple as the way you're sleeping (hands up to your face, as always...or tucked perfectly under your chin) or the subconsciousness smiles you make in your sleep. I hope you know how cherished and loved you are. This weekend only confirmed that for me.

Now, I'm going to go snuggle you and Daddy - my two loves.

Always your biggest fan,

Mom

First Day Alone

Dear Abby,

Today was our first day alone together. Despite Dad's confidence in me, I was still nervous beyond belief. I'm no stranger to caring for babies or children, but there's something different when it's your own - and that one perfect child is completely dependent on you. I won't lie, After Grandma (that is still so weird for me to call her Grandma) left last night and after dad left for school and work this morning, I shed a few tears. Thank you for being so patient with me.

Dad was sweet and took you for the first few hours of the night while you were somewhat restless so that I could sleep for awhile (I'm telling you - he does stuff like this all the time, stuff not many other men do. We sure are spoiled.) We had a good night from that point on and this morning you went back to sleep so that I could doze for awhile too.

I won't lie, I was a little overwhelmed today. Despite the warnings of those around me, I was convinced I could stay on top of my household chores and still take care of you. Boy, was I wrong. At some point in the day it became quite the accomplishment to get your diapers to the garbage can after you'd soiled them. But, we cuddled a lot, and I'll never change those moments for anything.

You are the perfect therapist. I talk to you constantly. Thanks for listening. I hope that our relationship can somewhat resemble this in the future. I hope that at some point you feel like you can confide in me too.

We had to take you to the doctor one last time for you bilirubin check (You weighed a whopping 6 lbs 12 oz! The doctor had us kind of worried about your weight for the last week, and you weren't eating well for a better part of the week - I think that had to do with the fact I was so stressed and we were back in the hospital. It was kind of a roller coaster for all of us, but now you are past your birth weight! Yay!). I hate it every time they poke you in the heel. You remain your usual composed self, only giving out a slight whimper, but you pull the saddest face I'll ever see. It seems to say, "Mom, why would you allow this to happen to me?" And that is worse than the biggest scream, in my book anyway. It breaks my heart.

While we had adequate cuddling time today, I realized - again - how perfectly soft your skin is. Did you know that your dad whispered that to me the first time he held my hand. He worked up the nerve to finally hold my hand, made the move, and then whispered in the dark, "Your skin is so soft." It made me grin ear to ear, trying not to laugh. But, it also made me melt. He was so genuine and honest. I still smile as I remember it.

Dad keeps commenting on how much you are changing. It makes me sad as much as it makes me excited for the future. I'm telling you, Abby, I have never been as emotional as I have been since you came into our family. You make our lives so much better. I don't think we'll ever be able to give back to you what you give to us.

Now it's bath time (which you hate). I guess I'll go prepare to torture you (or what you define as torture). I love it. You smell like heaven after a bath.

All my love - and more,

Your Mommy

One Week - Forever Changed

Dear Abby Lynn,

Last I wrote we were still waiting anxiously to meet you. Little did I know at that time how perfect our meeting would be. You were  born May 15, 2012 at 2:46 am and our lives were forever changed for the better. Your daddy beamed and I cried. You cried the very first second your little lungs would allow; I think that this was to reassure your worried mom that you were indeed alright. You are beautiful and the experience was indescribable. I don't know how else to say it.

Abby, you are one week old today, and changing so much. The change is as fun and exciting as it is heartbreaking. Some moments I get so excited watching you fill out and mature. Other moments I want to cry and freeze time, keeping you my newborn forever. Before, when people would tell me there were no words to describe the feelings that come with being a mother, I would roll my eyes. Now I understand. There really are no words. The ways you have changed me already - they are indescribable. The feelings I feel for you - I can't even begin to touch on. The way my heart swells whenever your daddy so much as looks at you - I get teary just thinking about it.

Bringing you home from the hospital was one of the most emotional times of the last week. It was exciting and frightening all at the same time. Buckling you in your car seat was frightening. If I ever teased your dad about driving like a grandpa before, this well surpassed it. He is more careful with you in the car than that 90 year old men driving next to us. I felt overwhelmed that you were mine. I did not feel worthy in the slightest, the only thing saving me was the fact that your dad was my other half. I knew that together we do anything, because of his amazing example and influence. Then, we had kind of a rough night, the three of us. We were all trying to adjust and get used to the change that was taking place. But, your sweet spirit still shone through, as I sat up with you on the couch all night, reassuring me that we could do this.

Our house has never been messier. (Thank goodness for moms/grandmas who come and help us keep things in order, not to mention make us enough meals to last weeks on end. We are so grateful for them!) But, you know what? I could care less. I live for the little moments with you snuggled on my chest. Or the naps we take together. I live for the facial expressions you make in your sleep. I even live for the smelly diapers that make your dad and I both cringe. I refuse to let a moment pass me by. So, we live in a messy house, but I get to watch my baby grow.

You are named after two of the strongest, most influential women in my life, as I'm sure they will be in yours. I know without a doubt you'll live up to your namesake. I can't wait to watch you interact with them as you grow.

You are loved beyond belief. Your grandparents have sacrificed so much over the last week to help us out. How lucky we are to have them in our lives. They can't get enough of you. They hold you, they kiss you, they whisper sweet nothings to you, and they cherish every moment they get with you. They know how special you are. Everyone that comes in contact with you adores you immediately. They want more time with you. You have that influence on people already. Your aunts and uncles talk about you constantly.

Sweet baby, your daddy loves you so much. He tells you every chance he gets. He whispers in your ear over and over how lucky he is to have you. Not only does he tell you, but he does so much for you. He is up with us in the night, and he still goes to work and school the next day. He is working extra hard, making sure we have the best life for our family. We both adore you; you have made us a family. You have made us better; and you make us improve each day, trying to be the best we can be for you. Being a parent is daunting. Knowing that you rely on us is overwhelming at times, but we are blessed beyond belief to be your parents. To have you carry our name is indescribable.

Last week, I had to get re admitted to the hospital because I was really sick.  My first thought when I heard this was, "I'm not going unless I can take Abby." And they let me. Abby, you don't need me. I need you. You were by my side the whole time. You and your dad. We are both spoiled immensely by this incredible man. Because of the medicines I was given, it was nearly impossible for me to care for you the way I wanted to. He was there with us constantly. Sitting on the edge of my bed all night long - holding you to me, calming my tears, and caring for you for hours on end. He loves us, this I know.

I have never felt so close to Heaven as I have this last week. The special spirit you have brought into our lives is amazing. I am in awe that there is a Heavenly Father that trusted me with someone as special as you. I know He knows how special you are. You are loved by your Heavenly Father, He is aware of you, and of our family. Sometimes I wonder how much you know, how close you are to the other side. I wish you could tell me of Heaven and the loved ones we have on the other side. I hope you gave them an extra hug from me.

Abby, you are precious. If nothing else, ever, I want you to know that you are loved. You are loved beyond belief. You are priceless to us. I am humbled to be your mother. You have taught me more in the last week than I have learned in my entire lifetime. I can't wait for our lives together. Be patient with me, my love. I'm learning. I'm growing. I'll try to be the very best I can be - for you. You deserve only the best.

I don't want to finish this letter. It means that our first week together is coming to a close. What a special week it has been. Moments I'll look back on and love always. But you know what? We have countless more to come. And now, I'm going to go cherish some more precious moments with you. I'm going to snuggle you in my bed until we both fall asleep. These are the moments I live for. These are the times I'll hold close to my heart forever and ever - and many more to come, I'm sure.

For now, sleep well my precious baby and know your mommy loves you.

My Whole Heart,

Mommy

Mom's Day

Dear Baby That I Don't Know Yet,

Hi Lady. I was really wishing we would get to meet you today, but no luck. We just can't wait. Besides that, sometimes you get a little mean with kicks.

Today was Mother's day. I'm so amazed that I still get the opportunity to be your mom. The fact that I'm being trusted with you is so humbling. You are so special to me already; words cannot even begin to describe the strength of my love for you.

Let's meet soon. I can hardly wait any longer.

Love,

Your Ever-Grateful Mom

Informal Introduction

Dear Baby That I Don't Know Yet,

I feel like I do know you. I do know you. I've known you since I first found out about you. I've loved you more than life since I first discovered you were going to be joining our family. And I've loved you more and more everyday.

Soon you'll be joining our family in the flesh. Your dad and I couldn't be more excited. I won't lie, I wish I knew when you were coming - I'd count down the hours.

This is for you. This is a journal of sorts so I can record my wishes, my blessings, my thoughts, and attempt to capture some of my love for you.

Because, I love you already. I love you more than you'll ever be able to understand.

Wishes and more love,

Your Mommy